Not a Happy Ending

I’ve been a reader my whole life. Maybe I read one fairy tale too much, but I always believed that one day my prince would come and I’d have my happily ever after. Valentine reminds me of that. I was one of those that married a Valentine Day many, many years ago. Though I had dated a lot, had a crush or two it was not anything remotely to what I felt when I met my ex. He literally swept me off my feet. He was the air I breathed, my reason for living and I loved him with all that I was and all I had in me. I was vulnerable and defenseless against him. I wanted him to be happy. I wanted what he wanted and I lost myself in that wish. It took me years to discover the person I was before I met him, before I made my mission in life to be the kind of woman who would be perfect for him. Big mistake, nobody should lose their identity to the person they love because if you do, they never really loved you.

Valentine makes me moody. Not everybody has a happy ending and a day like today brings it to the front. But though I am sad, at the same time, I am content. I know that once long ago he loved me. We are friends. We talk every day and that’s more than enough for me. More than anything, I know that I have the best of him, his sons who accept and love me just as I am.

So these songs, which are in my language, are those songs that you play over and over when a love has gone wrong, my tear jerker songs. I promise you it does get better. May you find joy and love wherever you go. It is out there, waiting for you.